Friday, 16 February 2018

Chinese Courtesan in Spring original by Li Qingzhao Happy Chinese New Year 2018

Chinese Courtesan
Apologies to Li Qingzhao

White silk adorns her falsely slender frame.
Another spring night falls, she must endure.

Beneath her eyes, thin plum stains, past hurts made up to look as new.
Cloud-like, she has woven herself a hologram of light.

Word upon word, mercurial song moves through
her down-turned painted mouth. A tease, she knows.

Leaving time--peach blossoms thick along the trail.
She watches for the shallow in the river, crosses.

The sky unobstructed. The moon, a penetrating gaze.

She was once valued like jade at the Imperial Court.
Regretfully, no more.

Youth's brightness never circles round again.

Jill MacCormack

With sincere thanks to Andrew Griffin for his translation from the Li Qingzhao original and to John MacKenzie for sharing his version and Andrew's translation with me.

And thank you to my dear son Lucas MacCormack for the lovely moon photo.

Friday, 9 February 2018

An Island Meditation: Nov 2013

A young family walks on the remains of an old mossing road along the rugged cape of the Island. The red earth beside their feet is slowly giving way to new territory; to sea, to sand, to rocky shore, to expansive sky. 

It is a gentle, achingly beautiful scene. 

They stop and sit on the now fading grass, the broken edge where land meets the wondrous sky.  Courageously, lovingly, together they sit peacefully with the difficult knowledge that the very ground they sit upon will soon give way.

Trusting in the shared goodness of their own hearts they have the wisdom to realize, wonderfully realize, the utter import of drinking in the view from the vantage point available to them; the difficult reality of their here and now. 

And so, instead of falling off the edge of much that is so large and challenging, they choose to fall into it; to quietly sit and touch the  small, soft clusters of what remains of late summer's delicate beauty, pearly everlasting, recognizing that there is strength in togetherness.

Reaching out they pick a bayberry leaf, knowing that in gently holding it in the warmth of the palm of their hands, it will release its own sweet fragrance. 

They know that they too are being held and guided.

They cast a sweeping glance out over a windswept sea on the seeming eve of wintertime because they know that this can do a soul good. They rest in the fragile knowledge that by themselves they can never take in the enormity of it all, nor alone do they have to. Watching in wonder they see bright white gannets plummet intentionally to frigid depths no one wants to enter in mid autumn. They smile and laugh as the gannets rise back up wet with splendor from the belly of the giving sea. They know well that it is in giving of them-selves that they receive and that it takes opening their hearts wider than they ever thought possible to fully receive the greatest gifts.

Quietly they remember the gentle caress of summertime waves lapping on little bare toes on wet sand. Good things do truly come in small packages. 

Bravely, so bravely, they wonder the why's and how's of life that sometimes are too big to wonder and still somehow they manage to keep breathing deeply. They know the answer to much lies in trusting, letting be, and letting go into love's mysterious truths. 

Their graceful ability to negotiate the precipice is amazingly evident in the way they walk their given path. (Unlike most, they don't turn their faces from the north wind for long.) In sharing with deep honesty and creating their own footpath, they share the beauty of a vantage point that no one wants to ever have to look from.

Then standing, they lovingly hold hands, and cradling the tiny ones, walk on. 

A few purple asters cling to the cape. The sting of salt has taken its toll on the evergreens huddling there but they still stand together and face the full force of the seaborne wind. The sand below the cape is littered with driftwood and wonderful, yet to be discovered gems. The sun catches, glowing for an instant, on the crests of waves that too quickly roll back into the blue-grey deep of the sea. The horizon, unflinching, remains the same.

Steadfast in the knowledge that our edges are only edges until we reach them...they recognize that each new moment can be a place to begin again from. They know intuitively that as long as they have hearts of love, goodness will guide them on their journey into the unknown. 

 Sweet and wondrous gifts to the world they are!

Thank you to them for their powerful example of vulnerability and strength in their time of need. 

Photo by Lucas MacCormack

Friday, 22 December 2017

The Lindens on McGill--1957


The Lindens on McGill--1957
 
In springtime
the Lindens on McGill
rained down catkins.
They slithered dew worm like
down the street on windy days.
Big, fat worms they were to us and
we imagined them
pierced and wiggling on our hooks.
Sitting there with Easter haircuts and folded up knees,
we'd cast off from sidewalk riverbanks into waters wide and deep as memory.
The only shimmering fish that ever got away--our youth.

Love,
Jill
 
A gift for my dear father, Christmas 2017

Saturday, 21 October 2017

Dear Journal, I'm sorry it's been so long...

Brutal. But write I must.

My handwriting almost illegible, my spelling atrocious, grammar non-existent. Stress-induced sleep deprived, imbalanced hormone driven drivel is not all I am capable of, but if for now it is all I produce, so be it. I accept my present limitations and I ask you to as well. As a woman writer this is my right; to let myself be as I am, part and parcel of my becoming.

On the other hand, I do not accept the walls I have erected to keep myself small and fearful. These I boldly reject all the while consciously redressing my own deconstruction. 

How to do this gently? In softness I acquiesce, bow to all which is larger than my small self. I admire my former scaffolding, apply curiosity to all situations, wander with a childlike sense of wonder. In place of cursing I find myself mumbling "so be it", and "it is thus", and humbly " I will begin again."

Transformation is a strange land and I accept its invitation to traverse its peaks and valleys.

But I do not accept blindly. I've done that in a previous dark night which lasted the better part of a year. Trembling, stumbling, gracelessly fumbling my way towards some kind of wonderful for which I'd only had the slightest prior inclination.

That was years ago. My children still babes in arms. Now they are growing into selves I never could have imagined in my wildest dreams. For this I am so thankful.

And now I sense a need within calling me towards another large creation movement. It asks for an increased willingness to engage in my own life. I accept with a knowing that allows room for uncertainty and insecurity. In fact, I welcome these former foes as friends. "Come in, where there is room in the heart there is room at the table." And what greater feast than your own life! 

As I begin to feast, I recognize that those feelings of vulnerability, uncertainty and insecurity, rise and fall like the morning sun. But at sundown I will not descend into the darkness and remain there. I see these feelings now as portents of  new growth. Potent fields of latent energy demanding my mindful attention and, more importantly, my kindness and nurturing. I am like my south facing garden; fecund and wild one day and frost kissed, withered and blackened the next. Life happens. Death and rebirth happen too.

I have given birth many times before; to my own three beloved children and to many selves, not all of whom I have had the energy to fully acknowledge. Their persistence is dogged and I must pay attention.

Typical and unfortunate both,  mid-life finds me heavily cloaked. At an age where acknowledgment feels like an honour garment, I must remove layers in order to reveal my truth.

I am capable. I am worthy.

In concession, I remind myself kindly:

Take a deep breath woman. Just because the tide is coming in doesn't mean you need to flee the waters. Let the sea of life be cause to dive deeper into your own myth. Allow yourself to rise naked, shivering and exalted. There is no other time than now. The beauty you behold is worthy of your attention.  Forget all that tells you no and become the yes your heart knows you are meant to be.

In warmth and possibility,
Jill

Monday, 18 September 2017

Why We Homeschool/Creativity Project

I can still hear the conversations like it was yesterday--are you guys crazy? I mean what are you thinking? Is it some great social experiment that you are trying out on your kids? Are you sure?

Five mainstream September school year beginnings have come and gone since we made our choice to keep our oldest daughter at home and this spring it will be five years since we took our other two younger kids out to learn at home and in the great world beyond the walls of institutional education.

Five delightful, frustrating and altogether unbelievable years of getting to watch as our children re-emerged from the stranglehold school had on them and became more creative and engaged versions of themselves.

Here are two neat takes on why someone chose homeschooling and what school/work can do to creativity.

How Society Crush Dreams & Kill Creativity

and

curious-about-home-schooling-families-ask-them-this-one-question

As the creator of and co-collaborator with the Creativity Project and as a parent of three intensely creative children I can attest to the truths being mined in the little short film. Our kids looked a lot like that little guy during their school days and now they have the creative freedom they deserve and the time and energy to engage creatively.

-Jill MacCormack

Friday, 1 September 2017

Late Summer's Promise

Unblinking as Cattail
on moonless August nights
Leopard Frog on roadside freezes
While crickets chirp 
nightfall
knead summer's
fading golds and magentas 
into autumn.

Promise me in days to come you will pick blackberries, sweet and succulent,
hang bouquets of cloud white Pearly Everlasting
to dry for winter wreaths.

Do promise me.

Bear witness to it as only you can.
The only true certainty is change.

In warmth,
Jill

Thursday, 17 August 2017

Basho Haiku--Dewdrop on Leaf


Dewdrop, let me cleanse
in your brief
sweet waters . . .
These dark hands of life