Wednesday 20 March 2013

Dear World, It's Time We Make Some Real Changes



Dear World,  
                                                                                                       
I want to let you in on part of a conversation that happened in my own living room earlier today. My father in law, a man of few words, was over for a short visit. Through the course of the conversation yesterdays 2012 Symons Lecture with David Suzuki came up.  My father- in-law, summarizing the gist of a newspaper article on the lecture says, "so in the paper today it says that by 2100 things might be over". Two of our three children were sitting in the same room as us. He didn't actually say the word "over", rather he just hand jived it. We all went on to the next conversation as though he said nothing. And why not? A big part of the reason we have got ourselves into this mess is because we can't truly understand the world we are living in or the consequences our daily purchasing choices exact on all systems: social, environmental, economic.  In all actuality, we are living lives alien to our life support, engaged in "Lifestyles "that are highly unsustainable and extremely toxic.  
I personally have had a mighty hard time living in this strange and wonderful world. Since my teens over twenty years ago I have suffered a great deal of pain trying to understand the reasons behind the toxic way we are choosing to live. I've become depressed and anxious many times considering my own role as a modern consumer who buys into a toxic lifestyle. Sure I buy organic and local as much as I can, but I still buy imported fruit, eat things wrapped in plastic, throw away whatever can't be recycled (with the painful knowledge that it will either be burned or buried) and buy into the notion of gift giving seasons of excessive consumption and so called "celebrations".  As a mom of three I've ranted and raved over ways we "should be living" and frustrated my family greatly because of my negativity and griping.  In time I came to practice the  gentler way of "quietly making change and letting others go on with their choices" but have found I still tire of the snail's pace at which our society changes. I frustrate easily over the choices our governments continually make "on our behalf" which allow the continuation of our destructive path. At other times my own choices  contradict my strong beliefs and I become confused and disappointed with myself. 
While in my mid teens I wrote a lot about the collision course I thought our civilization was headed on. My parents said I was depressed. I wrote about my confusion over our civilization being considered technologically so advanced, yet somehow in our never ending search for bigger, better, and more refined, we missed  the fact that our advancements do not come without a cost, a cost that inadvertently has set up our own demise. In my parents defense I was depressed. How could I not be? I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist at age seven as being able to intellectually understand much more about the world than I was able to emotionally deal with. Thirty years later I feel like the same train wreck I was then. But now I can better ask "Does anyone have the emotional wherewithal to handle all the bad news about the very grave direction we are headed in, in fact already experiencing?" Wait a minute, some of our elected officials seem to. Maybe I should have been wired a little more like they are. Without question many of us are choosing the distractions of mind numbing reality TV and technology, mindless consumption of goods and services, and extreme busyness over a  clearer view of our current trajectory and the true toll our course is taking. 
What kind of change do we really need to make to make a difference? Are you happy and healthy living the way you are currently living or are you, like me, feeling more and more exhausted just trying to make ends meet when the ends just keep seeming to get more frayed and further and further apart? Would it really matter if we just decided to buck the systems that are no longer serving us well? If we said "no" to some of the current models of living such as the way we school our young people would it actually hurt anyone? It  would seem to me that we are using our public education system as a public warehouse for insemination of ideas perpetuating the current outdated model of living. In so doing we are wasting precious resources to inefficiently teach our kids to read, only to have them learn so that they can open today's newspaper and read that some believe that within this century we will see a partial collapse of the human species. See today's actual headline from The Guardian, our local newspaper: "Suzuki delivers dire warning, cautious hope over future of humankind". View here
Perhaps it's time to make some real changes that represent viable hope in tomorrow and just as importantly, in those tomorrows that we ourselves will never see. Doing what we know in our hearts is the right thing can't be as wrong as popular culture would lead us to believe, can it?
What if we each bought less stuff, went far places less often, Loved the world more, fought less, learned to make do, ate less processed food, bought local, Forgave ourselves and others, Shared more and Smiled often? Just imagine! Or better yet, Let's give it a try? What do we have to lose in trying?
The last two summers I had the fantastic opportunity to manage a collaborative project I created to engage the public in thinking about how we are living. I called it The Creativity Project. Probably, no definitely, it was a gentler means to the same end as this blog post. You might have enjoyed it more. I did. Here's a link to it online: thistownissmall.wordpress.com/2011/05/25/the-creativity-project/ . You can also look it up on thistownissmall under Art in the Open P.E.I. 2011 and 2012. Our project link is under the Victoria Row location
The willingness of the general public to take part in our fully interactive exhibit both years was awe inspiring. It proved to me that not only do we still have the capacity to think creatively about problems we are facing, we also have the heart required to make creative solutions a reality!
Yah. What else can I say?  At times it seems as though we are human animals living like alien robots. Continuing to buy into a disposable lifestyle and preserving every moment of it in photographs and scrapbooks will only ensure that our species becomes disposable with much of our demise preserved in plastic memory books and hard drives. It's high time to make some changes in our world! What say YOU?
Love Jill
Postscript
January 2nd, 2013
I've just read Gwynne Dyer's  2012 year end article The key moments of 2012 and although I do generally take his words with a grain of salt due to their endlessly "dire" nature and the negative focus he writes with, I concur that his highlights largely are grim due to their factual nature.
 The following paragraph caught my eye:
The world's drift towards global catastrophe due to climate change is becoming impossible to deny. This northern summer saw droughts and heat waves ravage crops from the U.S. Midwest to the plains of Russia, and soaring food prices as the markets responded to shortages in food supply.
He certainly uses dramatic language to get his points across, yet clearly his points are difficult to deny.
Happy New Year 2013... This year I remain hopeful because I know that the possibility of change, although difficult, is ever present so long as we have hopeful hearts!


Monday 18 March 2013

Opportunity Taken...


 How quickly things can change in life... what is an instant anyhow? A heartbeat, a frozen breath, a gripping thought, missed opportunity...or an opportunity taken...

After a late evening visit to my parents’ place, our seven year old daughter Clara opted, as she oft does, to walk alone the short distance home to our place. And desperate as she had earlier been to wear her new spring jacket there, I let her go only half dressed for the cold.

I drove the car home with Maria who was under the weather...and Clara made her own way. When she came in the side door to our house she stood rather breathless in our entry,  looking totally awestruck. Sensing her quiet wonder I asked her what had happened.


”Sparkling” was all she could first say. “The snow, it all is sparkling mommy....please come for a walk.”

I'm glad I hadn't over- parented her when we left my mom and dad’s- told her it was getting too dark to walk, the roads too slippery and her not properly dressed for the cold- as I am too oft inclined to do.  Had I, she wouldn't have experienced the late winter wonder of a fresh blanket of crystalline snowflakes over the brown and thatchy grass and mud of March. Nor would she have shivered excitedly in our entry at the prospect of having me join her for a little walk, late eve around the neighborhood.



“It makes me feel like I just want to twirl around with my arms out like this mom- then go back out into it with you!”

And despite my tiredness, it was a great idea; always is at times like that. She decided of her own accord that she'd best put on an extra sweater and some gloves, grabbed a flourless oatmeal chocolate chip cookie and my hand and out we went. She showed me how the streetlight cast a shimmer on the soft blanket of snow all over the yard and lane, and indeed it sparkled...not unlike her big blue eyes just then.

We set out down our little street to the main road and hand in hand walked down the Kinlock hill. She nibbling at her cookie dipped in snow, me pulling her hood up over her hat to guard against the icy snow and wind that caught us on the more open main road. It was hard to see ahead so we looked down. Clara quickly noticed that our footsteps were the only ones to break the smoothness of the evening’s snowfall- that despite the multitudes who live around us we were the only walkers out.  We walked and talked downhill and at the bottom turned towards my parent’s house. Clara was on the outside of the sidewalk and instinctively I pulled her in, trading places with me. She noticed the silent move and commented that she knew why I did it.

“Because grownups know more safety things and if a car was to come and squoosh the grown up, well they've already lived so much longer than the kid. It's just makes sense.”

She said it all quite unaffectedly- strange for emotive Clara. Perhaps the cold had settled in deeper than I'd guessed. No sooner had I thought this than she qualified her sentiment:

”…not that I'd ever want that to happen to you mommy- I’d be so sad!”

“Well Clara, obviously we wouldn’t want anything like that to happen, but if something ever were to happen to me you know you would be sad, but you would still have a good life.” I faintly replied.

“A hard life mommy is what I'd have. It would be so hard without you!” Clara exuded.

Before we could continue in this morbid, thoughtful vein, a car approached us from behind, as the corner neared.  We paused let them go ahead of us, crossed over by my parents house and headed up the hill towards home. Back in our little yard, my heart fairly bursting with an awareness of the weight of the unknown and the wonder of the quiet beauty we were a party to, we foot-stomped a great big heart, adjoining in the middle. A little crooked and sure to be covered by morning, but altogether perfect.

Ps...I included the link for the cookie recipe because they are amazingly delicious...we all love them and you can so easily change it up...make them nut free...reduce the sugar...and they bake up very reliably!! Thanks Jan for the gluten free oats from Trader Joe's...


Thursday 14 March 2013

Living to your potential...Creating a New Story



"...it's all retch and no vomit..." Alan Watts
 
What if your life was all retch and no vomit as philosopher Alan Watts so startlingly put it? An entire life lived without a sense of fulfillment, endlessly doing that which produces the same miserable outcome. How much of the misery in the modern world could be attributed to us living our lives in this way?


Goethe's Faust was a famous example of giving one's life over to the eternal quest without recognizing that the beauty does not lie in the end result, rather it is contained within the journey itself. Striving without acknowledgment of the journey as the path only leads us to sell our souls to a culture that demands that we sacrifice to the system the very heart of our being...our ability to choose our way of life according to our own discretion.

Ceaseless striving is undoubtedly inherent to our human nature. We all do it....strive for more and better without training ourselves to settle with our restlessness, to be present to life as it is. We know too well the discomfort of feeling dissatisfied, and often it can be attributed to our ability to purchase goods and services compared to our neighbour or relative's ability to do so. Is this the truest way to measure our existence; is it the best way to live our lives? 

But what if you aren't living the sort of life you are supposed to be living? What if your restlessness is actually your inner voice trying to reach the surface after years of being quieted and quelled? Have you ever tried sitting quietly in a darkened room without distractions of modern living? Most of us become uncomfortable with the thought of doing this. What if we hear something in our own heads that we don't want to acknowledge? What if the discomfort in our chests or guts is due to not living as we know we should be living? Take a few minutes to try this. What did you hear...feel? Your untapped potential as a human being just might be trying to tap you on the shoulder. 

Right now I do feel as though I am retching repeatedly with no vomit...I love much of my life but feel a great distress over  changes I know I need to make but am having difficulty making.  Perhaps there is something within me lingering yet to be fulfilled. Maybe fear of change is limiting me; a fear of the unknown which lies untapped. Or it might be that I have yet to fully acknowledge my own potential...my personal unknown waiting to be tapped into?



Do not be afraid to go deeper...
I do know I need to cut a little deeper as a writer friend once said to me...and not be afraid to let myself bleed a little...that's where the undercurrent of life is ...the driving force we often fail to recognize within ourselves and within each other. Probably it's time for me to step outside my comfort zone so that I too can tap into that life force that is trying to live through me as an individual, and through us all as a collective of humanity. 

 “Forget safety.
Live where you fear to live.
Destroy your reputation.
Be notorious.”
Rumi


Besides if I want to be part of creating a more sustainable world, my lifestyle needs to reflect that ideal through the choices I make for myself, my family and the greater world. Otherwise as Watts more fully explains below:

What we are doing is we are bringing up children and educating them to live the same sort of lives we are living… in order that they may justify themselves and find satisfaction in life by bringing up their children to bring up their children to do the same things so it’s all retch and no vomit — it never gets there. Alan Watts

There is no one sure answer to how we should go about living our lives...truly the possibilities are endless. I do know that there is little point in making choices which inevitably continue to make us miserable.  Perhaps it's time to listen to the restlessness within and make a change? Think of what could be achieved, what  healing could happen!


By creating a new story for ourselves we inevitably become part of the new story our world so desperately needs. 
Don't limit yourself...let the big scream out!!!

 “Don't be satisfied with stories, how things have gone with others. Unfold your own myth.”
Rumi,
Essential Rumi