"If You're Offended, I'm Sorry"--Dennis King, Twitter Talk and Transforming Hatred into Love

Dear person's upset by Dennis King's misogynistic, homophobic, ignorant twitter comments, or those who might be offended by what he said online,

I am writing a letter to ask you to set aside your initial reactions of disgust, disbelief, and soul/psyche woundedness and I invite you to consider offering yourself and the man some genuine Love and Kindness.

King, as someone who has just been elected to lead one of the largest political parties on PEI, (PC) has made it clear that although what he wrote on his twitter feed a number of years ago is representative of a side of him--"Joe Citizen who's trying to make his buddy laugh"-- (comedian, and general guy's guy?) he would not publicly share such commentary while he is holding political office.

When I read the online article regarding King's offensive tweets/hashtags my initial reaction was horror and disgust. Is this guy for real? But as my day progressed and after spending some time meditating on the power of seeing the goodness in others I felt just plain sad for Mr. King and the culture we live in which both creates and reinforces such narrow mindedness and hatred as his comments suggest.

Following my meditation, I came to the realization that in ranting about King's tweets as too disrespectful to lead a political party in a province of a progressive nation in 2019, I was not creating any space in my own heart for Mr. King to redeem himself.

By remaining in anger, I was quickly dismissing King as other, and thereby effectively following the suit of his twitter posts.

There I was falling into the murky waters of the very disrespectful and demeaning mindset that I was angry at Mr. King for taking part in. By entering those waters myself I would be allowing my rising distaste for Mr. King as a person to justify the act of willingly diminishing another human by my words. Essentially, this is the cultural justification we participate in when we demean and objectify someone either individually or as representing a group or faction of society. In doing so we re-create a culture in which harm becomes normalized, even expected as part of ridicule or comedy and all too oft under the slippery guise of “it’s just a joke for my buddies and no one is getting hurt in the process.”

Demeaning comments hurt everyone who partakes of them.

But hatred in return hurts even more.

As I further reflected upon this I suddenly felt that it is urgently paramount that there be space 
 in my own heart for people who ignorantly spew hateful comments to be transformed by Love.

Transformed by my Love and yours. 

How could hating make anything better? And what do we desperately need more of in the hearts of this precious, divided world, but Love and Kindness?
 

And so, instead of finishing this day with the dismal sense of dismay I began it with as I explained to my three teens what the word misogyny means, and tried to answer their questions as to how someone choosing such a public profile role as leader of a political party could have behaved so distastefully I chose to end it by practicing an extended loving kindness meditation for Mr. King, his family and for all those who felt as hurt and confused by his twitter comments as I did.

Let us recognize that we all make mistakes. And some, like Mr. King's twitter talk, are more public and hurtful than others. Let's hope Mr. King has learned that how we speak of people, hashtag or in person, matters. Maybe, in time he will understand why saying "if you're offended, I'm sorry..." isn't enough.

May we all be filled with loving kindness, may we be happy, healthy and peaceful and at the end of this day, may all hearts, mine, yours and Dennis King’s, be at peace.

Jill MacCormack